(The Snake Model)
Upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operation (AO):
Paratrooper: Kills the snake.
Armor: Runs over snake, giggles, and looks for more snakes. 
Infantry: "Look, a putty cat. Come 'ere kitty . . . Ouch! Hey, that's not 
a kitty cat. 
Infantry (alt): "Ugh! Me see snake. Me like snake. Ouch! Me no like snake. 
Army Aviation: Has GPS grid to snake. Couldn't find snake. Back to base for 
crew rest and theclub and some sort of drink called "The Snake. 
Ranger: Plays with the snake, then eats it. 
Ranger (alt): Assaults the snake's home and secures it for use by friendly
snakes.
SEAL: Expends all ammunition, several grenades and calls for naval gunfire
in a failed attempt to kill the snake. The snake bites the SEAL then 
retreats to safety. 
Corps Artillery: Kills snake, but in the process kills several hundred 
civilians with amassive TOT with three FA BDEs in support. Mission is 
considered a success and all participants are awarded Silver Stars. 
(Cooks, Mechanics, Legal Clerks etc.). 
Marine Recon: Follows the snake and gets lost. 
Combat Controller: Guides the snake elsewhere. 
Pararescue: Wounds the snake in first encounter, then feverishly works to 
save the snake's life. 
Special Forces: Makes contact with the snake, builds rapport, wins its 
heart and mind, then trains it to kill other snakes. 

 

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